Why I am not “in love with” God

I used to know only one praise song with those words, the Matt Redman song containing “Jesus, I am so in love with you,” though there are others I’d classify as “God is my girlfriend” songs. Recently I’ve heard 2 or 3 others with a line like “I’m so/madly in love with” a member of the Trinity. I don’t sing along, because I don’t feel that way, nor do I think I should feel that way. Please help me out with a different point of view, and explain to me how you are/have been “in love with God.”

First let me say that I don’t think it’s bad to love God or to sing about loving God; I used to have problems singing “I love God” songs when I didn’t feel like I loved him, but now I realize that those songs should then become a challenge to me to love and honor him as I ought (this also applies to other songs about the believer’s response to Christ, given a proper Christ-ward focus of the song).

However, being “in love” is different than “loving,” as defined by our language, culture, and common usage. “In love” conjures thoughts of a careless, completely emotional response, not necessarily grounded in anything lasting, synonymous with “infatuation,” a “crush,” or “puppy love.” While being “in love” can be a step towards true love, it can never sustain. Here’s how some dictionaries see it:

WordNet ® 2.0:

in love

adj : marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; "she was crazy about him"; "gaga over the rock group's new album"; "he was infatuated with her"

The American Heritage® Dictionary:

in love

1. Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love.
2. Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice.

The key difference between “in love” and “loving” is what I attempt to capture with the label of “God is my girlfriend”. “In love” is connected with dating, or the early phase of a relationship before any real commitment. That is different than “we as the church are blessed to be the Bride of Christ.” Are we individually dating God, or are we corporately Christ’s Bride, learning to love him by knowing him and serving each other? In my own marriage, I have learned love in the trenches, meadows and mountains. The being “in love” that I started with would not have gotten us far.

“God is my girlfriend” songs sing like pop “love” ballads from many recent decades. If we’re on that road, I’d suggest another song, that when turned toward Christ is reminiscent of “Whoever would lose his life for me will save it” (Lk. 9:24), and the man who found a treasure, “hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field” (Matt. 13:44):

I'd gladly lose me to find you

I'd gladly give up all I had

To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad


I'd pay any price just to get you

I'd work all my life and I will

To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain

The best I ever had

The best I ever had

-The Who, 1971