Probably not the topic you've been longing for....

*WARNING* The following is about Breastfeeding. Feel free to stop reading at any time.

Amy has read a certain blog off and on for a while that often discusses the joys of breastfeeding and the necessity of it. This week, Kristen on the blog reports that it's WBW - World Breastfeeding Week. I posted a couple comments over there that I thought I'd repeat here, because it's a culmination of a few months thinking about and experience for Amy and I.

In response to here:

I’m new to this site, but my wife has mentioned several of your breastfeeding posts. We had a rough start with it in mid-May when our first was born, and you are right about the outcome of medical schooling: probably 6 nurses tried to help her in the hospital, and they had 6 different opinions (or maybe 7) on best breastfeeding mechanics.

But I’m not sure the experts are as unified as you indicate. Our certified lactation consultant suggested we supplement for the first week or so. This ended up being a blessing, because our son has been able to switch between breast and bottle without issue. This has given me some opportunities to bond with him during feeding, and given us added flexibility. Now he gets maybe 1 bottle a week (plus or minus 1, sometimes pumped milk, sometimes formula). I think the health drive for “exclusive” breastfeeding for 6 mos is more related to getting the right antibodies and other things that won’t be damaged by missing it 3 or 4 out of 35-50 feedings a week.

Anyway, from some of your posts I’m reading, this is clearly quite important to you, but may I urge you to not let it become out of balance. Your identity is in Christ, not in your children or in breastfeeding.

And in response to here:

I just read "why I demand feed", and would like to share some of my experience and philosophy with parent-directed feeding with Reed (our son who is 1 week shy of 3 mos old). It's not some strict adherance to a schedule, as if we serve the schedule. But it enables the parents to organize their family's days in a way that allows predictability and flexibility.

By about 3-4 weeks, Mama was able to work out the breastfeeding kinks and get Reed on a pretty workable routine of feeding every 2-1/2 to 3 hrs and one feeding at night (the night timing being chosen usually by Reed). Mama’s breasts were pretty clear about what was going on, such that they filled up just prior, with the amount he was eating. Reed’s body was pretty clear, too. Our friends who suggested this said we can expect him to sleep through the night starting at 6-8 weeks; right at 7 weeks he started sleeping through consistently, and it’s REALLY nice! Now he’s getting 5 feedings a day (6 in his recent growth spurt – Mama could tell it was starting b/c he was sleeping more and his typical pre-meal disposition changed).

We can tell he’s getting enough because he’s peeing enough, and his soft spot on his head is not too indented (and he’s 16 lbs now; started off almost 10). When Mama needs to stretch the time b/w feedings, Reed’s ok with it because he knows it’s coming, rather than thinking he has to cry his head off for it. Also, since his body is used to it, it processes the milk more routinely, not letting his blood sugar drop until nearly time for the next feeding; and he doesn’t get just the watery foremilk, as can happen from a 5-minute clusterfeed.

We don’t do it “by the book;” we’ve learned that exceptions are what raising a child (or life in general?) is all about. We don’t completely ignore our baby, but he doesn’t run the show, either. I see our society, and the breast-feeding lobby, as not so much naturally schedule-driven when it comes to nurturing babies, as having become baby-centered, sometimes to the point that “babies know best,” since they aren’t yet stained by the Evil Adults of this world (more of a Hollywood-style extreme perhaps; I’m not trying to straw man you into any of this, but it is out there; you may know of similar extremes in the cause of scheduling that I would agree with you on).

Anyway, parent-directing acknowledges that the child is not the center of the family, but a welcome member of it. The parents set the tone for the family and determine how to meet its needs, instead of this fallen human just born with a completely selfish orientation (not that he consciously rebels, but all his faculties are self-focused) who hasn’t yet been taught anything. To me, Parent-Directed Feeding makes sense because of the nature of man.